Why?

Last week, I heard the news of the murder of two autistic kids and it broke my heart. I was heart-broken not only because, two innocent kids lost their lives, but also because they lost it in the hands of their own mother. That is just wrong. And what is more alarming is the reason she gave the 911 dispatcher. She allegedly said that she wanted "normal" kids and didn't want her special needs kids anymore. How tragic! I know of many couples who would make great Moms and Dads and are yet struggling to have kids of their own and here we see this young mother, going postal on her own kids, just because they didn't fit her expectations of how kids should be. I understand that it is very, very hard to raise autistic kids and God knows how I will do in that situation, but does that justify murder?

Why did the kids have to be born in that home? Why didn't someone notice this Mom struggle? Why did God even create those kids that way? Why? Why? Why? I question my Maker with the infamous "Why?" fully knowing the answer to that question. We certainly do live in some crazy times in a very imperfect, chaotic world, where we, as a generation, have strayed far, far away from our purpose. But, I guess, sometimes, it is just easy to cry "Why?".

Peace.

Back

After a year of Wordpress, I have decided to come back to Blogspot.
Keep checking.

Peace.

Slow Fade

Burgers, Frowns, Rage and Cheeks!

I am sure each one of us have been a victim of terrible service in a restaurant or a mall or even at the check-out counter in a grocery store. Well, I have been a recipient of such rude behaviour one too many times. And I have always given the person the benefit of the doubt, although it was a very unpleasant experience for me. I understand the person could be having a bad moment, a bad day or just a bad life. So even when I am treated with such in despicable rudeness, I would smile at the person hoping I could somehow steal a smile or two from their grim and emotionless face. And I need to admit I have even been successful a few times. But most of the times, it is a vain effort. But being the nice person I am :-), I just walk away with a troubled heart which lingers on for hours or even days. So my question is how long can you wait before you lose it? Is it even worth it to do so? Well let me tell you about the first time in my life that I ever lost it.

So this past weekend, we decided to go dine in a fast food restaurant in our neighbourhood. Bad idea! When we walked in, there was nobody ready to take out order, but there were a bunch of people walking around very busy. After waiting for a lil' bit, one gentleman decided to take our order. He didn't start with a "Hello, How are you doing?" or with a "Welcome to xxxx, what can I get you?". Nope, nothing close to that. He started with a scornful "Yes?". Startled by the peculiar query hurled at me, I started to order. And even before I could say "I'll take 1....", the gentleman interrupted me with a deafening "What???". So I repeated again. And this happened for everything I ordered. And all this with a big frown on his face. At one point I was ready to ask him, "Is there anything else you want us to order sir?". And after all this condescending behaviour, he gave us nuggets instead of a cheese burger on the kids meal. And that's it, that was the last straw for me. I lost it. I went crazy. I was like "What the heck dude? Are you offering me a service or am I?". And I went on to say things I don't remember. Apparently I must have said something about him not being friendly, because when I stopped guess what he said. "How are you doing sir???". Then I turned to see the shocked face of my sweet wife. She was like, "Where did that come from?".

Now back to my question. Is it worth it? If you ask me it would be a "Hell NO". That meal was the worst for me in years. I felt terrible. The apology from the manager and a free coupon for a sandwich didn't help much. I felt a little better, when I went over to the obviously shaken up gentleman (don't think he has ever had an Indian dude yell at him before) and apologized to him and wished him a Happy New Year. (Yeah, right!!!). But I was still miserable for a very long time. Longer than the times I felt miserable for rude service and walked out quietly.

So ladies and gentleman, is it worth yelling at people who have been mean to you? No sir! No ma'am! No wonder our good Lord asked us to turn the other cheek!

Peace!

2009

Last night for the first time in many years we decided to spend New Years eve @ home. As we watched the clock ticking away anticipating the birth of the New Year, my son was on my mind. He was all tucked in bed, sleeping without a care in the world. The dawn of a New Year meant nothing to him. And if you think about it, nothing really changes except for the few checks we will waste when filling in the date. Nothing really changes! People go to bed on December 31st and wake up with the same ol' problems. The birth of the New Year hasn't changed your bank balance, hasn't changed broken relationships, hasn't healed diseases. But we still wait in sheer excitement has a New Year passes by year after year.

So what makes it special? Well, I think it is you & I, we make the difference. The birth of a New Year along with hope and an unending resolve to make changes makes it a beautiful thing. Without these, it is as good as a Monday night in March. The New Year is certainly not going to miraculously change things around, but it does open up a new chapter in a life. I pray the good Lord will give us the strength and wisdom as we write the pages of this chapter. So when the next year comes along, we don't write words of despair, but words of hope and joy!

Happy New Year!

Five Years!

Five Years! Wow! I can't believe I have been married to my wife for 5 years now! And I have known her for almost a decade now. I am not going to say it has been a very smooth one, nor am I going to say it has been a very rough one. Like any relationships, we had our ups and downs, our highs and lows. But for some odd reason, in retrospect, I do not remember the downs and the lows. Just the ups and the highs.
I remember the eve of our wedding day. My Dad had arranged this party for friends and family. And I remember, he suddenly made a request to all the guests which was not part of the agenda. He asked everybody to give one piece of advice about marriage to me. Slowly advices started pouring in. Wives and husbands used this opportunity to point out the flaws of their spouses. It was hilarious. Not much of those advice stuck to me that day, except one! I think it did because it was not a cheap attempt to demean a spouse, but a real genuine advice. This was from one my uncles and what he said not only stuck to me till now, but it would be the motto of our marriage. He said "On your wedding night, tell your wife that she is your best friend, and make sure she remains your best friend". It was amazing! Mind boggling. And honestly unexpected from an Indian man. So I heard him that day and buried that one deep in my heart, and till date my wife has been my greatest friend. I hope and pray that the good Lord will give us the strength to remain best friends forever!

Five years have gone by,
Quick, but yet so slow,
Until, the day to heaven we fly,
I pray our love will ever grow.
Deepak Benjamin

Keeping up with the Joneses!

I am sure you have seen the new Ford F-150 commercials with Jerry Jones in it. I like those commercials, although Jerry Jones has not exactly been on my favorite persons list lately. But anyways it talks about how, "to keep up with the Joneses" you may not be able to buy The Dallas Cowboys or afford your own football stadium, but you can start by driving the truck he drives in the first place. I think it is a brilliant commercial, because each one of us are guilty of trying "to keep up with the Joneses". True, most of us are smart enough to not even think about keepin up with Jerry Jones, but there are The Smiths next door or the Kumars at work or the Browns at church. I understand that it is an inherent nature of man/woman to always want what he/she can't afford/don't have, but where do you draw the line between passion and obsession. It is very hard and the line is very thin. First there will be Jones1, then Jones2 and soon there will be so many Joneses that keeping up the Joneses would have somehow become your sole reason for existence. And that my friend is a bad place to be in!

So the word to keep in mind is "content". If we are content with what we have, I tell you life will be so much more simpler and not to mention happier! Think about it! :-)

Peace!

Poem

Bumped into this poem today! Seemed very interesting and true!

First Dentistry was painless
Then bicycles were chainless
And carriages were horseless
And many laws enforce-less

Next cookery was fireless
Telegraphy was wireless
Cigars were nicotine-less
And coffee caffeine-less

Soon oranges were seedless
The putting green was weedless
The college boy was hatless
The proper diet fatless

New motor roads are dustless
The latest steel is rustless
Our tennis courts are sodless
Our new religion Godless

Peace!

Hancock

Ever since the movie "Hancock" came out in June, I have been itching to watch it, not only because I am a big Will Smith fan but also because it seemed interesting. But somehow I never got the time to watch the movie. But yesterday, I finally rented a DVD and watched it. Although, the reviews weren't that great, I must say, I thought the movie was pretty cool. I agree it has a weird & complicated story line. But I think the movie conveyed a priceless message! "If you want to be strong and productive with a long life, stay as far away as you can from your....wife". No no wait a minute, thats not what I had in mind! It came out wrong. Let me re-phrase it!

But I think the movie conveyed a priceless message! "If you want to have a strong and productive life of serving others, you have to sacrifice something! No pain no gain" There you go that sounds much better! :-)

Peace!

Excuse me Doc!

Not too long ago, I blogged about how I feel sorry for folks with 2 or more kids and how hard it is for me to find time with just one kiddo. (Read it here) Anyways, since then, I have been trying to organize myself a little more and I was slowly getting into a routine and stuff. My wife even agreed to stop working evenings and just do mornings. This way things seemed to be ok. But 2 weeks back my son and my wife had been to San Antonio. We had a good time of rest and just before we left, D complained of indigestion. So we skipped meeting my buddy Mark in Austin and headed straight home to Big "D". But the indigestion stayed on for a day, then two and when it was finally a week, we decided to go see our PCP. So I skipped work and drove her to the Doctor's. My wife went into to meet the nurse while Jay & I played outside the doctor's office. She wasn't gone for 10 minutes, before the nurse summoned me. At this point I was really worried. Instantly I was reminded of our "Indian" movies, where the Doctor calls the husband solemnly to break the sad news. But as I walked into the room with Jay, I saw what seemed like a smile on the nurse's face and nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to hear next. If you hadn't guessed already then you are like me, but if you had guessed it then you are right! The nurse told me with a gentle but elated voice, "Your wife is pregnant"! I don't think I have ever used the word "Excuse me" more emphatically before, like I did that afternoon. And she repeated again, "Your wife is pregnant, you are going to have another baby". So, I asked the most ridiculously stupid question I could ever ask a medical professional, "Are you sure?" And she showed me the pregnancy test and told me with a smile, "Yes! She is sooo pregnant" I didn't know what to say! Quietly we checked out and headed home. The drive home was a weird one. A silent one! Many thoughts went through my mind the for the next 48 hours. But finally I got around it and accepted the fact that I am going to be a Dad of two kids. Now almost 2 weeks later, I am excited although I have no idea how I am going to handle it. But I know somehow "we" will. At one point we weren't even sure if we will have kids. But today we have a sweet boy and a another in the oven. And for that I am grateful!

Peace!

100000 Miles

Last night my car made history by reaching a 100,000 miles. This would be the second time a car reached a 100,000 miles in our household. Definitely not an occasion to celebrate, but most certainly blogworthy! I am grateful for my sweet car! For all the road trips, the pointless "What do we eat tonight?" drives, the frequent pick-ups from the airport, the gazillion "I think I am having a baby now, lets go to the hospital" drives and the sweetest drive of all: J's homecoming! Although, I have cursed the day I bought my V6 engine car many a times, especially in the last few months, I must say it has been a good car to me. Go Acura!

Peace!

The View

There are many things that I love about my job and there are many things I don't as well. But one one thing that I cherish the most is the view from my cubicle. Our building was built right adjacent to these beautiful woods in the middle of Richardson. And for those who do not know Richardson, it is a city in the middle of the DFW metroplex. A city, where an empty patch of land goes to the builders faster than you can say "Jack Robinson"! So I take pride in what I see from the window of my week-day, day-time home! But after working here for almost 3 years, I have forgotten the greatest part of having a window cubicle with a great view: to actually enjoy it! Every time somebody comes by to visit me for the first time, our conversation always starts with "Wow! What a great view!". And thats when I look out and say, "Wow! It IS a great view!". But after they leave, I get busy burying my head into my monitor. What a shame! And how often we do that in our lives. We are so busy with what to do tomorrow that we overlook the beautiful view in front of our freakin' eyes, today. What a shame! So starting today I am going to try hard to enjoy the view from the window. The beautiful blossoms in spring, the plush green leaves in summer, the changing colors of winter, the barren trees in winter and not to mention the squirrels. You should too! :-)


Peace!

Why?

Yesterday I heard 2 significant news. One was that somebody is having a baby and the other was a little boy has been diagnosed with leukemia. Although, the news of the miracle of a child being born excited me, but the news of a child with cancer troubled me and made me ponder about things of which I do not have control of. I started to ask the infamous question "Why?" Why should the little boy suffer? His parents are good people. Why Why Why? I did scientifically and psyhologically explain it in my heart, but somehow the answers seemed incomplete.

But I know the Bible says "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

So I take solace in the fact that the Almighty one is in control!

"The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man." - G.K.Chesterton

Date Night!

My son is now 16 months and 10 days old. Unbelievable! And it has been 16 months and 17 days since my wife and I went out on a date! So yesterday we decided to go out for dinner. We asked our neighbour's daughter to baby sit J, decided on a restaurant and were so excited like it was our first date. I was talking about the whole day. Then I got home, played with J a lil' bit and Tessa came @ around 6:45 PM. And soon we were on our way after giving her a few instructions. But guess what from the minute I left home I started talking about J. When D asked to shut up and stop worrying, I said ok, but that didnt stop me. Will he be ok? Did he eat? Maybe he is crying a lot! What if he hates us for the rest of his life? Boy it was driving me nuts. I was so sure Tessa is going to call any minute asking us to come back. But the call never came. And through all this my wife remained so calm. I was suprised and super jealous. So anywas we had great Thai food. The waitress was so that nice she gave us a free entree even though we did'nt have the coupon. Elated, we decided to go to target to get a Console table that D had her eye on for a year now. We found it and it was on sale and was almost $20 less. Wow! Amazing! Picked it up. Then we decided to go to the clothes store. Found the pair of shoes I was looking for for half the price. Man, everything was just perfect. Then we decided to go home a little early cos I couldnt take it anymore. Got home as fast as we could to find my sweet little son already asleep . And Tessa told that he was perfect. Apparently, it took her just a few minutes to put him to sleep, the task that takes us almost an hour each day. So everything was perfect. But guess who was upset now. The strong mommy who asked me to shut up earlier that evening when I was freaking out. She didnt expect him to be asleep already. Now she was upset that she had left him behind. But now that I was home, I could care less, I happily settled down on our couch with the remote in hand to watch history being made in world politics. Interesting eh? Anyways thats how our first date since J was born, went about.

Peace!

New Day

First Black President of United States of America. Wow! I never thought I would say that. Somehow I had taken joy in watching Morgan Freeman playing president in many movies and settled to the fact that, thats as good as it gets. But today it has finally happened, a new day is here where a black man (ok semi black man) has taken over the reigns of the most powerful nation and possibly the world. It does make me proud to call myself an Indian-American. I see hope and future. If a man born to an immigrant Dad and a white mother, raised pretty much like anybody else, can reach the pinnacle of political greatness then anything is possible in the great nation. But, it does sadden me when I think of what he stands for. That's what scares me. I just hope & pray that the good Lord will give President-elect Obama the wisdom and knowledge to run this country efficiently. But today, we celebrate. May HIS will be done.

Peace!

Interesting Article

I, the Convert
My conversion was not a change of religion; it was a change of heart

I was born a Brahmin and am the grandson of a priest whom I dearly loved. I am educated and my current professional standing indicates that I am reasonably intelligent. I am also affluent and my income would put me distinctly in the upper middle class bracket. I guess that would make me high-caste, rich and smart. In other words, I am not a tribal, or poor or dim-witted. And yet, I chose to become a follower of Jesus Christ.

The world would call me a convert to Christianity. I have no problems with that, though I see my faith more as a relationship with God through Jesus Christ than as a religion. And for the record, I can truthfully claim that no one financially induced or threatened or deceived me into converting to Christianity.

I am fiercely proud of my national identity as an Indian and I am completely at peace with my cultural identity as a Hindu. I retain the name my parents gave me. My wife, who also shares my faith, continues to go by her Hindu name. We have two children and we have given both distinctly Hindu names. In fact, many of my colleagues and acquaintances who may happen to read this column are likely to be surprised. They have no inkling about my faith, for I generally don't go about announcing it. But if someone does ask me the reason behind the joy and hope that is ever present in my life, I am always delighted to share it with them.

I write this piece to make one point—that my conversion was not a change of religion but a change of heart. To explain this, I need to go back to my childhood in Chennai, similar to that of so many other Tamil Brahmin boys like me. My grandfather, every bit the virtuous priest, had enormous influence over me. I absolutely adored him and as a toddler, always clung to him. He too loved me to a fault. There was no wish of mine that he would not rush to fulfill. But even in my early, formative years I was unable to relate to the religion he fervently practiced. Later, in my school days, I once spent my summer holidays with him in Trichy. Memories of dawn walks with him, for the ritualistic dip in the Cauvery river, cow in tow, are still fresh in my memory. I learnt many shlokas, some of which I still remember. But I never understood any of it and none of it helped me connect with God.

When I was 19, a Christian friend with whom I used to play cricket invited me to his house for prayer. If he had invited me to a pub, or party, I would have gone too. At his home, he and his sister prayed for me. It was a simple yet delightful conversation with God that lasted all of five minutes. I don't remember it verbatim, but they articulated a prayer of blessing on my life, future, career and family. It was a simple affair—no miracles, no angels visiting. All they did was utter a deep human cry out to the creator God and His only son Jesus Christ. When they said Amen, I felt in my heart a desire to follow Jesus. It was a faith encounter with God that I shall not even attempt to understand, rationalize or explain. I simply accept it. It is my faith. It is what I choose to believe. That evening I did not change my religion, for in reality I had none. Hinduism was my identity, not my religion. It still is.

The Christianity I acquired that evening is not a religion. On the contrary, it is an intensely intimate relationship with Jesus. Over the past fifteen years, I have come to know this Jesus even closer. I know Him as the pure and sinless Son of a Holy God. And I know Him as a dear friend to whom I pray and talk to every day—about my career, my dreams, successes, failures, finances and even my sexuality.

If I read a good book, watch a good movie (Rock On is terrific, mate), or eat a good meal at a new restaurant, I would naturally tell my friends about it. In Jesus, I have discovered a truly amazing friend, guide, leader, savior and God. How can I not tell all my friends about Him? And if anyone does listen and he too comes to believe in Jesus, I am delighted. The world would call it a conversion; I call it a change of heart, like mine.

But I would never force anyone to listen to me, leave alone financially induce, coerce or con him into believing. That to me is pointless and against the very grain of my faith. But I do have a constitutional right to practice my faith and to preach it without deception, force or bribery. It pains to see such basic rights of mankind being cruelly violated every day in this great Hindu nation.
God bless India.
(Anand Mahadevan is the editor of Outlook Business.)

http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20081027&fname=Conversions+%28F%29&sid=5

Weak Week!

Wow what a week it has been already! I have been dodging curveballs since Sunday. Beginning with the Cowboys' inexcusable loss to the Rams to the uncanny trip to the ER on Sunday night, to the terrifying event of my wife passing out in the hospital, to an old lady banging into my car and to the sleepless nights when Jay woke up every hour it has been quite a ride. It is amazing how much the human body gets used to things going fine and dandy. But suddenly, things go a little crazy and thats it! Your whole world seems to be falling apart. But you know what, thank God for crazy days, it makes you appreciate the not so crazy days even better! It's all good!

Peace!

Approval????

Did you know that President George W. Bush holds the highest approval rating record with 92% and also the lowest approval rating record, at 19%? Come on y'all make up your mind!

Peace!

Gin Soaked Boy

I bumped into this song this week. I think it was released in 2000 by Divine Comedy. Anyways I thought it was interesting and it did bring some memories back. Check it out!

I'm the darkness in the light
I'm the leftness in the right
I'm the rightness in the wrong
I'm the shortness in the long
I'm the goodness in the bad
I'm the saneness in the mad
I'm the sadness in the joy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I'm the ghost in the machine
I'm the genius in the gene
I'm the beauty in the beast
I'm the sunset in the east
I'm the ruby in the dust
I'm the trust in the mistrust
I'm the trojan horse in troy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I'm the tigers empty cage
I'm the mysterys final page
I'm the strangers lonely glance
I'm the heros only chance
I'm the undiscovered land
I'm the single grain of sand
I'm the christmas morning toy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I'm the world you'll never see
I'm the slave you'll never free
I'm the truth you'll never know
I'm the place you'll never go
I'm the sound you'll never hear
I'm the course you'll never steer
I'm the will youll not destroy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I'm the half-truth in the lie
I'm the why not in the why
I'm the last roll of the die
I'm the old school in the tie
I'm the spirit in the sky
I'm the catcher in the rye
I'm the twinkle in her eye
I'm Jeff Goldblum in the fly

Well, who am I?

Peace!

7 Years....

I cant believe it has been seven years to the day, since the horrible attacks on America! I was on a project in Arizona and I had just gotten to work, when everybody was talking about a plane that had crashed into a building. Then slowly news emerged of another plane crashing and that it was a terrorist attack. I ran back to my hotel room and turned on the TV. And there I saw the ghastly site of 2 planes crashing into the WTC. And it was even more terrible to watch the towers just crumble down like a pack of cards. I will never forget that day. Although I was miles and miles away from NYC, I felt the impact. The impact was ofcourse not short lived. It was felt for many days, weeks and years to come. And not to mention the "random" checks in the airport, every time I flew, which was quite frequent back then. Always wondered why they even called it "random". :) We lost a lot of priveleges that day, and things will never be the same again. On September 11th 2001, the world had changed as we know it! Wars have been fought since then, lives have been lost and families separated. But has any of these made the world a safer place to live in?

Peace!